Whooooooooooa, I've had a gigantic couple of weeks, so please excuse my poor blogging skills. Things in my life are really starting to look up, and the changes I've been planning for so long are finally starting to come to fruition. I'm both really excited and a lot apprehensive, such is the nature of changing your life.
I have this re-occuring nightmare in which I'm trapped at my day job on a day I'm not supposed to be there. I have the doors locked, and right as I realise, "shit! I'm not supposed to be here!", people start to pry open the locked doors and come inside, ignoring me when I tell them we're closed. Soon, the trickle of people turns into hoards and hoards of people, showing up in droves, huge group after huge group. The shop is overcrowded, and still nobody listens to me.
At some point, somebody breaks something, usually the glass in the front door. I try calling for help, but the phone usually morphs itself into something utterly useless, like a carton of milk, and all the numbers I dial into the milk-carton phone are jumbled and wrong. Text messages I try to send from my mobile autocorrect to jibberish, and I'm stressed to the point of tears.
Finally, after screaming profanities and literally pushing and dragging these faceless people out of the store, I lock the doors again, and turn and breathe a sigh of relief into the now empty shop.
Then it all starts again.
At some point, somebody breaks something, usually the glass in the front door. I try calling for help, but the phone usually morphs itself into something utterly useless, like a carton of milk, and all the numbers I dial into the milk-carton phone are jumbled and wrong. Text messages I try to send from my mobile autocorrect to jibberish, and I'm stressed to the point of tears.
Finally, after screaming profanities and literally pushing and dragging these faceless people out of the store, I lock the doors again, and turn and breathe a sigh of relief into the now empty shop.
Then it all starts again.
For anyone who watched the latest series of American Horror Story (which I thought was terrible, by the way), in which the characters are forced to escape their own personal versions of hell- well, that dream is my hell. I wake up anxious and stressed out, with an overwhelming sense of being trapped in my own life.
I think I've lived the last few years in fear of change. The last time I experienced a major change in my life, it was horrible. Everything turned upside down and spiraled out of control, and so I naturally grew an aversion to embracing change. For a long time, I stayed in a place where I was comfortable, but not happy.
Eventually, I paid enough attention to my nightmare to hear what it was trying to tell me, and today I'm slowly starting to overcome those fears. I'm still not anywhere near where I'd like to be in life, but at least I can say I'm finally taking steps to get there.
x A
I think I've lived the last few years in fear of change. The last time I experienced a major change in my life, it was horrible. Everything turned upside down and spiraled out of control, and so I naturally grew an aversion to embracing change. For a long time, I stayed in a place where I was comfortable, but not happy.
Eventually, I paid enough attention to my nightmare to hear what it was trying to tell me, and today I'm slowly starting to overcome those fears. I'm still not anywhere near where I'd like to be in life, but at least I can say I'm finally taking steps to get there.
x A
